Hi!!! I would like to start of with
a small introduction. I am Lizzie, this is my first ever attempt at blogging. I
come from India and though my country is growing in many ways, sex and things
related to it are still considered a taboo here. My family is quite religious
and God fearing.
By now you might have got an idea
that I come from a conservative surrounding. In such an upbringing my interest
in BDSM would have made me a freak. I can never disclose my thoughts to my
friends or family. They would never understand. I was happy to keep it as just
my secret.
After two years of reading about the
topic and numerous stories online, I finally understood major parts of the
lifestyle. I can't say that I completely understand it, you see for all my
fantasies I am still a virgin and I have never practiced any part of BDSM, even
the simple non sexual part of it. I wanted to discuss and share my thoughts. I
was afraid to write them down in my diary because Mom can read it. So I thought
about blogging them. It would be safe.
Well starting with, how I came to
know about the lifestyle.
I am a huge Harry Potter fan, and
once the series got over I got hooked to fanfiction. It was good to read about
the characters in the series in different ways. In fanfiction I ran across a
story called From Law to Love. In that I read the following text:
'You're into BDSM?'
Predictable
'It's always the quiet ones, right?
Isn't that what they say?' He looked gob smacked, but she went on. 'I know what
I like, Lucius. I'm twenty six years old and was engaged to be married before
this travesty of a law brought us together. Besides, you can't be classified a
bookworm if you don't read everything there is out there to read, right?'
'But, how? No offence, Hermione, but
you've never seemed the Dominatrix type to me.'
She smiled. 'That's because I'm not
a Domme. I'm submissive.'
It was as if Christmas had come
early to the Malfoy patriarch. Though it seemed a bit too good to be true, he
knew that he would have to wait and see if her kinks matched up with what he
enjoyed as well. If they did, then he would start her down the path to becoming
his, in every sense of the word. Would she be his slave? Perhaps his pet? Did
her enjoyment run more along the lines of a Daddy/little girl-type
relationship? He didn't know, but he was going to find out. And if she enjoyed
fetishes that he wasn't quite into, then at least he knew that they could play
together in the future. Either way, he knew that his marriage-by-force had just
gotten a bit more interesting.
'
Explain.' His tone shook her to the
core, for it was something she had last heard back in the Department of
Mysteries during her fifth year. The commanding, calculating and thoroughly in
control Lucius Malfoy was FINALLY emerging before her and it took all of her
will power to hold back the shudder that threatened to rip through her.
However, unlike fifth year, it wasn't fear that rocked her, but pure arousal.
'Oddly enough, it started after
fourth year. I was home for the summer hols and picked up a Harlequin novel
from my mum's stash of books. I don't remember much of the story, but there was
a scene where it mentioned being collared and it got me wondering: why would
someone want to wear a collar like an animal? So I began to research, which is
what I do best, apparently. The simple mention of being collared led me to
information about the lifestyle. Dominants. Subs. Tops. Bottoms. Slaves and so
on. I discovered that to be collared was actually a huge thing and it made me
want to know more. What did being collared infer? Did the sub give up
everything to their Dom? Is the Dom just on a power trip? Can they decide to do
whatever whenever? There were so many questions and every answer just brought
more questions with it.
Naturally saying my curiosity was
spiked. I found all that was there to be found, read lots of stories, tried to
understand the characters feelings and thoughts. Finally I came to the
conclusion that I LOVE the idea of being a submissive. It wasn't a good
realization. Due to my upbringing I tried to deny that idea. Also how could I,
a girl who is always fighting about Women Rights and Equality, who abhors it
when some one mistreats a woman all because of her gender like being submissive??
This might just be due to the fact that I have been reading about the topic so
much. That my brain is going haywire.
After a long time of denial and lots
of thinking I understood that being submissive doesn't mean that I am against
women's equality. It just means that, at times it is okay to give away your
control to some one you trust. Some one you love and respect. In other words I
accepted myself. I accepted the fact that I am a submissive.
Well this
is getting quite long so I will say bye now. Will blog soon. I just wanted to
ask one thing. Do any of you know how to set this blog setting so that only
adults can read this?? More importantly can this be done?? I don't want young
children reading all the stuff I would be blogging.
